| BOOK FROM HELL ALERT: This site is officially on temporary lock down for the rereading of the Half-Blood Prince! The book is sitting there with it's foil lettering, staring at us from under the bed where we stashed it back in 2005, saying in it's rasping, hateful demon voice... "Ha, ha, ha. You deluded logic mongers! You were foolish to open me once expecting to find sense and story. But you were wrong. Yes, very wrong, indeed. Characters you once loved have been slaughtered. A tale that once resonated within your very hearts has been warped by the fires of hell and vanished for all time. Do you dare? "Do you dare, dear misguided defenders of the natural order, guardians of virtue and character steadfastness, lord protectors of Hermione's intelligence and grace, do you dare delve back into my pages, survey my depths in search of your answers? Have you the courage of true Gryffindors to risk dismal depression and the solid proof of your own ignorant delusions and author stupidity to have another look? If only to see that your copy was not the true story.....that the true light hangs before you in the mists, just outside of your reach. Do you chance fate? Do you dare?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reader.....We can't take it! We can't do it! What if it's right?! What if we really did have the wrong copy?! What if everything is safe and sound in HP land and we were lied to? Maybe they haven't all lost their minds. Maybe there's a chance. Maybe if we just hole up somewhere where no one can find us, the book will speak to us and show us the truth. We'll ask it, "why, why, mister book, do you hate us so, to have lied so grievously to us and our trusted friends?" And it shall answer, "Twas not me. Twas the maker." And then we'll open it to find that Hogwarts isn't on drugs. Hermione hasn't had her brains addled; Ginny isn't a superwoman harlot; Ron isn't a raging moral-less fratboy womanizer; Harry hasn't turned into Hermione while drifting towards the dark side; Dumbledore didn't suddenly allow Harry to lead him to his death; and that the whole damn world didn't suddenly become overly obsessed with hormones, snogging and hook-ups! And all shall be well. The world will be full of miracles and goodness. The sun will shine, birds will chirp, the air will be fresh and clean. And then, Reader, you know what we'll do.......we'll wake up and burn the damn devil child, spawn of hell, piece of book-shite that it is! Speak to us, oh wise interpreter of the great lies. Advise us. We are in need of your wisdom. Join us in a Book 6 reading marathon this weekend! Sincerely, the Lord Protectors of Hermione's Intelligence and Grace, Defenders of the Natural Order, Guardians of Virtue and Character Steadfastness — or Indie Nyle, to you. Caspian & Rilian |
Disclaimer:
This rant was first posted on 28 June 2007. The names
have been changed to protect the innocent.
- If you are a fan of Book 6, this is not the rant for
you. Though we aim to amuse, we can be a bit harsh
towards the book from hell. Read at your own risk!
This rant was first posted on 28 June 2007. The names
have been changed to protect the innocent.
Disclaimer Part II:
Also, we'd like to point out that our feelings of dislike
for this book do not stem from relationship preferences.
This is not a 'shipper site, trying to prove one
relationship over another.
It is our sworn duty to prove certain inconsistencies and
betrayals of character in the book. And, as always, your
input in support of Book 6, Anvils and 'ships or to the
contrary is always welcome.
Also, we'd like to point out that our feelings of dislike
for this book do not stem from relationship preferences.
This is not a 'shipper site, trying to prove one
relationship over another.
It is our sworn duty to prove certain inconsistencies and
betrayals of character in the book. And, as always, your
input in support of Book 6, Anvils and 'ships or to the
contrary is always welcome.
| Book 6 Rant |
| Copyright © 2007 | www.booksandwands.com | All Rights Reserved No copyright infringement intended of any and all source material. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic and Warner Brothers Entertainment. |
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